When Offense Sneaks In
Image by @sincerelymedia
“The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger,
And his glory is to overlook a transgression.”
I thought I had learned this lesson. Not perfectly, of course, but well enough that I assumed it wouldn't surprise me again. Over the weekend, a familiar situation left me feeling that my sons, daughter-in-law and grandsons were once again overlooked. It wasn't a major clash or an argument. It was something small that has happened many times over the years. Yet there I was, feeling that familiar little sting of offense.. It wasn’t a major clash. It was a simple situation that’s happened many times over the years. And yet there I was, feeling slightly offended. Yup...me. The Christian who thought she'd learned not to take offense anymore. While I could offer up the age-old “well we’re all sinners… not just me” excuse, I am thankful I’m moving beyond that when situations arise.
Isn't it amazing how quickly old feelings can knock on the door of our hearts?
I recently read an observation by Bible commentator Adam Clarke that really made me think. Writing about a culture where insults demanded retaliation, he noted that the world calls revenge honorable, while God calls restraint honorable.
Culture says, “Don’t let anyone disrespect you.”
Scripture says, “It is his glory to overlook a transgression.”
I don't believe that Proverbs 19:11 means pretending something never hurt. Rather, it paints a picture of someone who refuses to let every slight dissolve into anger. Before long, what was meant to be a temporary visitor becomes a permanent resident. Twenty-five years ago, I pitched tents over every little thing. I’d blow up, be hurt and then give it a prime lot in my heart where it would reside for months, even years. In the long run, it only hurt me because it kept me from being closer to the Lord.
This time my response was different. Instead of replaying the situation over and over in my mind, I took it straight to the Lord in prayer. I also asked a dear friend and my pastor to pray for me. Twenty-five years ago I would have nursed the hurt. I wanted to surrender it before it could take root. Asking for others to pray is admitting my weaknesses, trusting in their prayer and trusting that the Lord will continue to remove this from me. I write about it in an effort to show that being a Christian does not make me perfect. Nor does it put me on a pedestal above others. Sanctification isn't about pretending we never struggle. It's about becoming quicker to run to Christ when we do.
The road to being more like Christ isn’t easy. We have sinful natures. We want what we want and culture tells us we’re entitled to it. Christ calls us to leave everything at the cross and follow Him. We don’t have GPS to let us know what’s coming up on the journey. We will experience periods where we can’t hear God speaking to us, or be totally confused about what He wants us to do. Rest assured that when we rest in the Lord, He will work things out for His glory and our good.
I’m not happy that I became slightly offended, but I’m grateful that God has taught me to immediately turn to Him in prayer and ask Him to change me.
If you’ve ever been on a road trip, you know how it feels when you’re driving down what feels like an endless road. Better yet, when you’re on the way home from a long trip and it’s the last few miles before you’re back home. Those miles seem to take a lifetime.
Becoming more like Christ rarely happens overnight. The Lord patiently shapes us one lesson at a time, one surrendered offense at a time, one prayer at a time. Give yourself the grace to keep growing. God certainly does. By God's grace, I'm not who I was twenty-five years ago. And by His grace, I'm not yet who I will be. Until then, I'll keep bringing every little sting to the One who knows exactly what it feels like to be misunderstood, overlooked, and rejected.
Peace,
B
